I suppose that since my big brother wrote about what was going on with mom on his site that it would be okay for me to also put my thoughts down…
I’m scared… and mad, really angry. I don’t do well when I don’t know the whole situation at hand… I mean I want all the details. I think so that I won’t miss anything. There are no words for the emotional tidal wave that my family and I have taken under. All of us deal with in our own special way.
Dad. He tries to be strong, but I know in my heart of hearts that, that is the farthest from the truth. He must be so scared.
Doug. The realist. “It is what it is.” Better to not get upset about something until you know that you have something to get scared of… I read you entry. No matter what you would like to convince yourself of, I know.
Chris. The rock.
Karma. I think that she understands what is going on but whether it hits her now or later I am not sure. Trying to face this situation through an adults eyes, I cannot imagine for a child’s. After watching her other grandmother, NaNa pass away from cancer. She still talks about her all the time. I cannot fantom… The smile’s that she has and the never-ending hugs I know mean so much around the house for mom.
Mom. Well, mom’s mad and she is a fighter. When she found out and I later found out, I knew something was wrong. Really wrong. She told me initially over the phone. I don’t think that I have ever heard that slight quiver in her voice before and I felt like my heart was crying. She is a lot like Doug in the manner that “what is, is.” When she says these words to me, you look into her eyes and all I want to do is crawl onto her lap like I used to do when I was little, lay my head on her shoulder and cry over the injustice of it. She is the strongest woman that I have ever known besides her mom, my gram.
Me. Trying to be strong, realistic. Trying not to cry.
1 Comment » | Posted in Life, Personal
The time’s are a crazy! By Shorty | April 27th, 2008
I have had the most incredible roller-coaster of emotions in the last week… I found out that my divorce has been finalized. I cannot express how my mind has spiraled out of control… I came to the realization that I am finally free to do, say, and really feel what I have wanted for awhile. […]
No Comments » | Posted in Personal
Mom and Dad By Shorty | January 7th, 2008
So I wrote this awhile back but I just found it again.. going through dads desk… sorry dad! *smile* I love you both! I read this poem to the both of you at one of my darkest hours… you were and always will be beacons of shining light for me!
It’s not just a day for […]
No Comments » | Posted in Poetry, Life, Personal
My brothers through my eyes… By Shorty | January 7th, 2008
You are strength, You are courage, You are passion.
Everything I admire… to what I aspire.
You are light in a darkened alley
You are truth in a sea of lies
You are fierce in facing the unknown.
Everything I admire… to what I aspire.
When everything seems to shatter
You’re there to brush away the tear
When I laugh so hard… you’re […]
No Comments » | Posted in Poetry, Life, Personal
Some guys eyes… By Shorty | January 7th, 2008
Have you ever lain upon the soft blanket, beneath the cool cover?
It casts shadows
Seeming so quiet…
Not really though, it’s the human sounds.
Always present, but not here.
Sweet musical notes…
The whisper of the wind cascading down the stream.
Steady beat
Shivers run through…
Have you ever then… slowly… opened your eyes
Exposing another sense of feeling
Up high
Searching for the warmth?
It radiates
Smokey […]
No Comments » | Posted in Poetry, Life, Personal
Really bored… By Shorty | January 6th, 2008
I really love quotes! There is just something so inspiring in such a short amount of words! So I found some to share….
Jealousy is all the fun you think they had.
-Erica Jong, Fear of Flying, 1973
A positive attitude may not solve all your problems, but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the […]
No Comments » | Posted in Quotes and Such
Happy New Years! 2008 By Shorty | January 1st, 2008
I hope that everyone had a fun, safe, and fantastic new years eve and day! I had so much fun! *smile*
Unfortunatly I started the day by going to work, which could have been much worse than it was! Only one ironic thing happened while I was there. About a week ago I was talking with […]
No Comments » | Posted in Life
Have you ever… By Shorty | December 30th, 2007
Have you ever been nervous around someone you really liked? I found myself in this very situation the other night. He and I had hung out together before, but for some reason this evening felt different for some reason and I wish that I could figure out why. Then I also wonder if it was […]
No Comments » | Posted in Life
My hair is tangled between my fingers
My ears have started ringing
My eyes are seeing nothing
Until….
I look up to see yet another night
As it came to hide the sun
My restless dreams are consumed
My thoughts and desires
Run icey sharp through my blood.
It’s a mysterious charm
These thoughts and desires
To meet you
To break time with you
My mind and heart […]
No Comments » | Posted in Poetry
My hair is tangled between my fingers
My ears have started ringing
My eyes are seeing nothing
Until….
I look up to see yet another night
As it came to hide the sun
My restless dreams are consumed
My thoughts and desires
Run icey sharp through my blood.
It’s a mysterious charm
These thoughts and desires
To meet you
To break time with you
My mind and heart […]
No Comments » | Posted in Poetry