I suppose that since my big brother wrote about what was going on with mom on his site that it would be okay for me to also put my thoughts down…
I’m scared… and mad, really angry. I don’t do well when I don’t know the whole situation at hand… I mean I want all the details. I think so that I won’t miss anything. There are no words for the emotional tidal wave that my family and I have taken under. All of us deal with in our own special way.
Dad. He tries to be strong, but I know in my heart of hearts that, that is the farthest from the truth. He must be so scared.
Doug. The realist. “It is what it is.” Better to not get upset about something until you know that you have something to get scared of… I read you entry. No matter what you would like to convince yourself of, I know.
Chris. The rock.
Karma. I think that she understands what is going on but whether it hits her now or later I am not sure. Trying to face this situation through an adults eyes, I cannot imagine for a child’s. After watching her other grandmother, NaNa pass away from cancer. She still talks about her all the time. I cannot fantom… The smile’s that she has and the never-ending hugs I know mean so much around the house for mom.
Mom. Well, mom’s mad and she is a fighter. When she found out and I later found out, I knew something was wrong. Really wrong. She told me initially over the phone. I don’t think that I have ever heard that slight quiver in her voice before and I felt like my heart was crying. She is a lot like Doug in the manner that “what is, is.” When she says these words to me, you look into her eyes and all I want to do is crawl onto her lap like I used to do when I was little, lay my head on her shoulder and cry over the injustice of it. She is the strongest woman that I have ever known besides her mom, my gram.
Me. Trying to be strong, realistic. Trying not to cry.
Heather…I just wanted to say again how sorry I am, and that I am here for you, as all your friends are. My prayers go to you and your family.
If you need anything at all, please let me know. A shoulder to cry on, a buddy to hang out with, someone to talk to on the phone…I’m here for you.